


the one

by witandwaldorf



Category: Gossip Girl (TV 2007)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friendship/Love, Love Triangles, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:34:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27158695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witandwaldorf/pseuds/witandwaldorf
Summary: you know the greatest films of all time were never madeHe's just another unrequited love story, Dan realizes, and he hates himself for the cliché. Yet, he doesn't do what any good protagonist would do and rewrite the script. With each artillery rotation of the minutes hand on his watch, the one she gave him, handpicked from a Sotheby’s auction, his heart hammered to the same beat. Another second he could have been meeting a girl (who might actually love him back), finding a job (he didn’t totally hate), looking for a new apartment (which didn’t have a possible case of asbestos), or doing anything but this.
Relationships: Dan Humphrey/Blair Waldorf, Nate Archibald/Blair Waldorf
Comments: 5
Kudos: 29





	the one

**Author's Note:**

> I felt like publishing this old fic I wrote... This is written as a one-shot but I may come back to it. Feeling inspired after giving it a new title.
> 
> *warning: references to an eating disorder*

_Tick, tick, tick._

With each artillery rotation of the minute's hand on his watch, the one _she_ gave him, handpicked from a Sotheby’s auction, his heart hammered to the same beat. Another second he could have been meeting a girl _(who might actually love him back)_ , finding a job _(he didn’t totally hate)_ , looking for a new apartment _(which didn’t have a possible case of asbestos)_ , or doing anything but this. Which was… Straining his eyes as they burned from the glare of the bright white screen of his dated iPhone 6. On it, displayed an image of her, dazzling with her model boyfriend. It’s the same as all the other photos on her feed. Except, this- a blinding rock upon her finger, her left ring finger to be precise.

As Dan analyzed the photo, praying to find a trace of unhappiness in that expression, he hated himself for not making a move when he had the chance, he hated the finality of that ring, and even more so, he hated her for never noticing the heart stitched into every sleeve of every sweater he wore around her. Or perhaps she had…

He allowed his mind to delve into the dark crevices with his deepest fears. Like the fear that she did know how much he loved her. How could she not? But if that were true… That meant. That meant she didn’t feel the same. So of course she didn’t acknowledge it. That would only kill the friendship. Or coat it with tension that would never be washed away.

He knew as he looked closely at her blinding smile, that he would never find a trace of unhappiness. She had it all, this just cemented it. The trust-fund boyfriend who graced magazine covers, the coveted job at a top fashion magazine, the beautiful sister (well, _almost_ sister) who not-so-gracefully starred in each tabloid scandal but who loved her nonetheless, and most of all, the loyal, dutiful best friend who watched movies with her on Wednesday nights and made her waffles on Sunday mornings. A best friend who would do anything for her, from punching that asshole ex-boyfriend, to vowing to help her raise her would-be child, to helping her through her miscarriage grief.

Blair Waldorf had it all.

With a glance around his grimy studio, he forced himself to admit, he had nothing.

Nothing at all.

* * *

An image of Dan’s unruly curls and empathetic dark brown eyes filled Blair’s vision, momentarily transporting herself far away from her boyfriend who was kneeling before her - a dizzying large diamond ring outstretched. She blinked and brown eyes morphed back to blue, the unruly curls turned into a neat haircut smoothed by pomade. He was never here, that fantasy never happened.

She could convince herself that she is certain as she accepted the ring and forced a few happy tears to trickle down her porcelain cheeks.

When Nate’s eyes filled with tears too, the sight forced an icicle into her heart as she realized how terrible she was. How undeserving she was of this life, of this man, and of this future that was about to be hers.

* * *

It was supposed to be an ordinary day. Dan Humphrey had risen at approximately 7 AM, taken a lukewarm shower, brushed his teeth, drank a cup of bitter black coffee, and trudged into the office. He cranked out another meaningless piece - this time about the parking fee increases in Manhattan, eaten his lunch in the bleak, fluorescent-lit break room, and left the office at precisely 5 PM.

It _was_ an ordinary day.

Until he got home and read the text he didn’t feel his phone receive. He smiled as he saw the name across the screen: Blair Waldorf.

It was because of her absence that today had been ordinary. Without her, his days were monochromatic.

8 days, that’s how many days she had been gone. Taking a picturesque vacation in Greece with the person Dan would rather pretend didn’t exist. He knew it was picturesque from all the photos she had been sending them. They were always accompanied by some text such as, “I wish you were here,” or “You have to come here someday. Get _The Journal_ to send you here on an assignment.” The former was his favorite kind of text to receive from her.

He imagined her sending them when Nate wasn’t nearby. That probably wasn’t the case. Nate would probably actually encourage such a text, might even tell her to tell him hello for him.

But it was better to imagine that it was their secret. Even if it made him sick with guilt.

2 days, that’s how many days were left until she returned.

He swiped open the text, hoping to get another text implying she missed him.

The text he received instead, turned today another dull Thursday into the day his heart broke.

Because there it was. All the evidence he ever needed that they never would be together. The evidence he had saw last night but somehow wiped from his memory after a few too many washes of whiskey.

After downing two stiff drinks, he forced himself to type a reply.

The lie burned his fingers as he punched each letter on the keyboard.

_Congratulations, I’m happy for you._

* * *

Blair wasn't sure why she was so anticipatory as she read Dan's reply. It was predictable, exactly what he should say. Exactly what she expected him to say.

Except, for some reason, the words caused her heart to fall. A swoop of disappointment arrived through the ether along with that text.

What did she expect him to say? _Don’t marry him._ That was unlikelier than a hail storm sweeping through these sun-drenched islands on this spectacularly sunny day.

“Blair?” Nate’s voice had cut through her thoughts then. “What’s wrong?”

The disappointment was replaced with guilt. What for, she doesn’t know. She tacked on a smile, one so broad it hurts a little. “Nothing, of course. I couldn’t be happier.” She forced herself to look down at her engagement ring and waited for the words to be true.

Five days later, and the words would still ring false in her ears.

* * *

“So…” Serena sat down next to Dan on the fire escape where he was downing the remains of his Old Fashioned. The humid air did little to entice him to return to the party. The engagement party. _This_ , this miserable muggy air suited his mood.

He had managed to avoid Blair since she had gotten back, feigning too much work or a cold. But this? This she wouldn’t let him miss. “Are you ever going to tell her?”

Dan looked at Serena with glassy eyes, the alcohol pulsing through his veins. It had done little to help him stomach the sight of the symbol of Blair’s betrothal on her finger, in all its three-carat glory. “Tell her what?”

He wasn’t sure if it was because of how much he had drunk or because of how little he had been paying attention to Serena's presence that her question made no sense to him. Serena scooted a little closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, and then she leaned her head on his shoulder. “What I won’t tell Nate…” The scent of her Tahitian vanilla shampoo flooded his nostrils. “That you love her just like I love him.”

Dan exhaled, setting his empty glass down on the metal ledge beside them. He didn’t anticipate that. Subtly clearly was not his specialty.

Somehow, he had imagined that his feelings would remain some deep-seated secret that would always remain locked inside of him. Perhaps grow and swallow him whole one day.

His body must have tensed then because Serena reached over with a soothing grip on his shoulder. “It’s alright. They’ll never know. They never need to know…” With that vague statement, she looked off toward the city.

“You think?” Dan couldn’t help but ask.

“I…” She faltered. “I know so. It’s too late…”

“Is it?” Dan said without even a twinge of hope. They both knew the answer to that, there was no point in Serena even replying to his question.

“We’re a pair aren’t we?” She turned to him with a sad smile. A beautiful sad smile. If the circumstances were different, maybe he’d even think it was so beautiful that he would kiss her then. She must have been thinking the same thing because at that moment she snuggled her head back into the crook of his neck and sighed. “You’re single… I’m single… Yet we waste our time in love with people who will never love us back when we could just love each other instead.”

“Serena, I-” Dan began but he was hushed by her.

“I know.” She smoothed her satin slip dress with a hand. “I just wish I could love someone else, you know? Someone like you. Someone who _is_ you.”

“I do,” Dan replied honestly. As he leaned his head down to rest against hers, the feel of her warm body against him provided a momentary comfort. “I really do.”

* * *

Eyes fixed out the window, Blair’s stomach churned. The sight before her threatened the reappearance of the canapes she had been eating all evening.

She swallowed down nausea with another sip of champagne - the burn of the alcohol making her feel worse. She blinked, hoping when she opened her eyes again, they would be parted. A city-wide gap between them. No, that wouldn’t be enough.

Global distances between them. A whole galaxy. That would make her stomach settle.

When she finally opened her eyes, they were still there. _Dan and Serena._ Arms around one another heads nestled together like a postcard. Their joined names read like poetry. Blair and Nate. Dan and Serena.

 _Blair and Dan_ , her mind argued.

She swiveled and headed for the kitchen - reminding herself she can’t care, but was intercepted by Poppy Lifton. “Blair, babe.” The model air-kissed both of Blair’s cheeks. “So happy for you! Let’s do dinner soon so you can tell me all about the proposal. With S, too. Where is she by the way?”

Blair couldn’t answer that question without properly vomiting so she pointed out the window instead.

Poppy cocked an eyebrow. “Who’s that with her?” Her brown, almond-shaped eyes squinted. “Is that your friend? Dan, is it?”

Blair forced herself to nod, swirling her champagne so aggressively it nearly bubbled over. She wanted to drown in it as she watched Poppy’s gaze turn suggestive.

“Oh. Get it, S.” Poppy enthused. “They would make a perfect couple, wouldn’t they? I mean, Serena was practically born to be a muse. The writer and the model. Tale as old as time.” Poppy smiled and didn’t wait for Blair to reply.

Good thing too. The only reply Blair would be able to expel was a mountain-high pile of vomit all over Poppy’s Alexander Wang leather booties.

She stomped off to the bathroom, reverting to an old bad habit as her eyes blurred with tears. After brushing her teeth, her mouth cleansed of the acidic aftertaste, Blair forced herself to find Nate. She needed to see his face, be reminded that they are the golden couple. There he was, practically surrounded with gilded light talking to his cousin and Maureen who beamed at Blair once they saw her.

“Blair, we are excited you are finally going to be officially part of the family.” Maureen’s veneered-smile broadened. “It took this one long enough, didn’t it?” She playfully nudged Nate.

Nate laughed, not taking offense. “I should have done it the day I met her.”

“I think that might have scared Blair off just a little, man.” Tripp joked. “Hell, she might have even dropped out of Colombia.”

“On the contrary,” Blair’s social graces finally kicked in as she prepared a witty reply. “I would have taken that engagement ring straight to Yale and demanded they reconsider my application now that I was going to be a van der Bilt.”

“That’s why I’m marrying this one.” Nate pressed a kiss to Blair’s cheek. “Only Blair can think of a way to maneuver every situation to her benefit.”

 _Manipulate_ , Blair mentally corrected.

“She’s going to make one hell of a First Lady someday,” Tripp laughed.

“Blair, I might have to keep my eye on you.” Maureen cut in with a lighthearted warning. “That’s supposed to be my role.”

“Oh, darling,” Tripp kissed his wife. “Of course it will be.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. A career in politics is the last thing on my mind right now. I just want to focus on making this girl as happy as she makes me.” Nate’s blue eyes shone then at Blair and reminded her of why she was with him. For sweet comments like that. Sentiments that melted her heart, or used to.

She tried to force away the cold feeling but it didn’t work. The others seemed not to notice the shift in Blair’s mood as Tripp quipped, “That’s exactly what a politician would say!”

“Excuse me.” Blair smiled politely and stepped out of Nate’s embrace. She made her way down the hallway until she was halted.

“B!” Serena strode up, blonde hair flowing behind her. “There you are.”

“There I am?” Blair echoed. “You’re the one who’s been MIA. What were you doing out on the fire escape?” The accusatory tone was clear but Blair didn’t care.

Serena shrugged in that annoying carefree way of hers. “Dan and I were getting fresh air.”

“Is that what they call hooking up these days?” Blair’s eyes narrowed. “I wouldn’t know, it’s been forever since I was single”

“Woah,” Serena’s hands went up defensively. “We did not make out.” Her blue gaze zeroed in on Blair. “But if we did, what would be so wrong with that?”

“It’s my engagement party, Serena. I don’t need you and Dan stealing my thunder by coupling up on a night where for once I’m supposed to be the center of attention. You don’t have to fuck Dan to get all eyes on you, you just toss your hair and everyone is about ready to bow down to you.”

“B,” Serena’s voice softened. “All eyes are on you. And how could they not be? You look beautiful. You are beautiful. I would never steal the spotlight from you.”

“Oh.” Shame hit Blair hard in the solar plexus. Now she was not only an awful fiancée but an even worse best friend.

“I think you’re just emotional. It’s a lot, isn't it?” Serena gave her a sympathetic look and wrapped her arms around her like the kind friend she’s always been. As her friend enveloped her in the hug, the faint cedarwood scent of Dan hit her senses and she forced down another wave of jealousy.

 _Fuck the guilt, she thought._ Blair closed her eyes and let herself imagine a different pair of arms enveloping her. Maybe, she let herself think, this life was all wrong. Her mind returned then to a time years ago when Dan had promised her forever in his way. When her stomach was still creating a new life, the spawn of Satan, she had joked. The child of light, Dan had countered. If only she had said yes.


End file.
